Introducing Erika - my blue eyed beauty.

12 Week Vaccinations

Yesterday were Erika's 12 week vaccinations. And I walked to the doctors which is exactly a mile away with Erika in her Mei Tai carrier and Oskar walking beside me. It went surprisingly smoothly. We even dropped Oskar's nursery application off on the way! And picked up another from a different nursery! Erika is very happy whilst strapped to me. Oskar didn't want to hold my hand because he had to do 'torch eyes' the whole way.. Not sure what torch eyes are meant to be but this is them...

    

He's a lovely little weirdo...

When we got into the doctors we were called for and went in to get Erika's shots. As the lady was doing it Oskar shouted 'baby Erika doesn't like that! Don't hurt baby Erika' he was so concerned it was the cutest! She cried for about 30 seconds and then was ok. She then went in to get weighed and she's a chubby 12lb 9oz! She's doubled her birth weight plus some! Just as I was thinking how smoothly it had gone, Oskar decided he needed a wee. There's building work going on in the doctors so had to go through a right maze to find the toilet, we got there just in time, with Erika in one hand (I didn't have chance to put my carrier back on) and Oskar holding the other. The toilet is so small it's quite hard for one person to get in and shut the door, never mind 3 of us. Oskar couldn't get on the toilet and I couldn't lift him because I was holding Erika so I sort of picked him up by one arm and swung him on. He then had a wee but hadn't tucked his winky in properly so he weed on the floor and trousers, then the poo came! I had to some how in the tiny space wipe his bot whilst holding Erika (who had started twisting at this point) I managed (ish), although Oskar was very concerned about his wet trousers, I stuck Erika back in the carrier and set off home. 

On the way home we passed two middle aged women pushing prams, Oskar pointed at them and loudly said 'there's all the sexy ladies, Gangnam style, ooh bay-beh, bay-beh' erm thanks Oskar, I almost died! Haha!

Then about 10 minutes from home he informed me that he needed a wee again, so I told him to do a standy up wee in the bushes, so he took his pants down, and said 'oh poo's coming' I quickly pulled his pants up and practically ran home. We made it.. Just.

The Diet

I'm officially dieting! I have a size 8 bridesmaid dress to fit into by September 7th for Liv's wedding (which I'm very excited about!) 

I thought a size 8 dress would fit because all my other dresses are an 8 and still fit me after having Erika but this one must be a small size. 

As you can see it does not zip up. This was 3 weeks ago when I was at my start weight 141lb. I'm now just under 134lb, so I've lost half a stone. My goal weight is 118lb. But I'm gonna try it on again when I've lost a stone and hope for the best.

I'm on day 6 of The 30 Day Shred, and I'm using My Fitness Pal to track my calorie intake, I'm sticking to between 1000-1200 per day. 

I love this app because you can just scan the barcode of what you've eaten and it'll come up with all the ingredients and calories and you just add it to your diary. If something doesn't have a barcode, you just type in what it is and select the weight of the item and viola! For example:

         

You also document exercise and your weight! And at the end of everyday when you complete your diary it'll give tell you what weight you'd be in 5 weeks if everyday were like today. 

Oskar likes to join in with me when I'm doing the 30 Day Shred, he's so cute. He calls Star Jumps 'square triangle square triangles' because of the shape you make with your legs when you do them. They're his favourite. When I do sit ups he likes to lie on my belly which isn't the most helpful..

Neglected Blog!

It's been too long since I posted on here so I'll quickly get up to date!

Erika is now 12 weeks old and weighs 12lb 9oz! She's such a little chunk.

She's a complete diva compared to Oskar, she likes to be fussed over all the time! It's a good job she's cute. She's started teething already so we've bought her some Baltic Amber beads, since they worked so well with Oskar! 

Her favourite things to do are being walked around, lying on day's chest, and most definitely milk. She won't take a dodie, as much as I try! The Mam dodies that Oskar was hooked on make her gag, and the only one she'll suck for a little bit is a green frog Tommee Tippee one which they don't make with that particular teat anymore! Typical!

Oskar is an amazing big brother. He's adjusted so well to Erika. As soon as she was born he just accepted her as if she's been here forever. He kicks up a fuss when I change a smelly nappy shouting 'baby Erika stinks!!'. But that's as bad as its gotten. When she cries he'll go and hold her hand. Or force a dummy or bottle in her mouth. He'll sit and say 'what's the matter baby Erika? Why you crying?' It makes my heart melt a little. 

He's never called her Erika, it's always Baby Erika. And he introduces her to everyone we see.

Erika's birth story - preeclampsia and a VBAC

At around 32 weeks I developed preeclampsia - every pregnant lady's fear! As scary as it sounds, it's easily controlled (for a short amount of time) and not really as scary as it sounds. I think everyone around you is more worried about you than you are about yourself..
Anyway I was on the maximum dosage of labetalol (blood pressure medication) as I'd been in and out of hospital from about 33 weeks, every time I went for a check up I'd get admitted to hospital as my blood pressure was high and I had traces of protein in my wee. The doctors said they were just trying to hold off inducing me until I was 37 weeks.
The day before I turned 37 weeks (Wednesday 20th March) I went for an appointment with my consultant, Dr. Ranka (who was lovely) she gave me an internal and a sweep as she wanted to get things going sooner rather than later. She then admitted me as my blood pressure was high, yet again. And she booked my induction for Friday 22nd March. It was scary to think she'd be here so soon, as Oskar was 2 weeks late, I couldn't get my head around having a baby 3 weeks early!
On the Thursday they gave me a Prostaglandin pessary in my cervix to 'ripen' it so they could break my waters the following day. If my cervix still wasn't 'favourable' on the Friday morning they would then give me a c-section. As I'd had a previous c-section they could only give me one pessary as it would cause too much strain on my scar from the previous section.
Trying to sleep on that Thursday night was like a cross between Christmas Eve and the night before a big exam. Well I didn't manage to get any sleep before I started to get contractions just before 1am. I buzzed the midwife and she felt my tummy and she confirmed they were contractions but advised I try to sleep through them and in the morning she'd then admit me to the labour ward. So I tried to sleep then had to get up around 10 minutes later to use the toilet and that's when I knew I was in labour. I then buzzed the midwife again who took my blood pressure, which was 162/110 (high) she felt my tummy again and sent me straight to the labour ward.
My god the contractions hurt! But what hurt more was the sharp pain in my head everytime I got a contraction, which the doctor put down to my blood pressure being so high. It got up to 168/113, ao they gave me a labetalol injection to try and lower it which gave me the most insane hot flushes all over my body. The next hour was a total blur, but I know that the pain in my head was not going away, and my blood pressure was still high, so they put me on a magnesium drip to stop me having a fit or a stroke. The anaesthetist didn't want to give me an epidural before they saw how I reacted to the magnesium (I think that's why, but as I said; it was a total blur)
The doctor had to sit with me at all times as well as the midwives to keep an eye on me, he then broke my waters as they'd not gone yet gone. When that was all done I rang Shaun and my Mam and Shaun went to pick my Mam up and they got there at 03:05. The nurse checked how dilated I was at around 03:20 and she said a was around 6cm. I then got the overwhelming urge to push and I told the nurse who said that I wasn't ready as I was just 6cm, she then looked again around 30 seconds later and they could see her head!
I pushed for around 5 minutes (which surprisingly didn't hurt anywhere near the contractions did) and very quickly little Erika Jane Denham was born, at 03:27 weighing a teeny 6lb 3oz. The midwives said that she had the longest cord they'd ever seen. At that point I felt so proud of myself that I'd managed to have my VBAC, and that I didn't even have time for an epidural! I also couldn't believe how quick it was, Shaun cut the cord this time which he couldn't do with Oskar as I had to have a c-section with him.
The birth was totally perfect, but after that I had to stay in recovery for over 24 hours on a magnesium drip to stop me fitting with a machine taking my blood pressure every 15 minutes, and not to mention the catheter. Erika had trouble maintaining her temperature and her blood sugar levels so she needed her blood talking every few hours. She was given a feeding tube up her nose, and given formula to top up every breastfeed she was given so try and get her blood sugar levels up.
After the horrendous week we had to stay in hospital trying to control her jaundice (away from my little Oskar, which was the most painful part) we were finally allowed home the following Friday. She then needed a further 3 days light therapy (luckily we were allowed the light machine home) and now she's doing great after a totally tough start.
As much as I'd love 3 children, after this pregnancy - with the hyperemesis at the beginning and the preeclampsia at the end, and all the complications afterwards - Oskar and Erika will be my only babies, but they're both amazing and I'm so lucky to have one of each sex.

Happy Easter!

It's a tad early, but we're gonna be pretty busy in the next couple of weeks!

Still in hospital

Keeping myself entertained by making pictures.. Looking forward to meeting...

Hospital

As I lie in hospital I suppose it's the perfect time to write a blog post, so here goes..
The past few weeks have been horrible! I've been admitted to hospital 4 or 5 times (this is my 2nd overnight stay) because of my high blood pressure and because they keep finding protein in my wee. It's looking like preeclampsia so they're probably gonna induce me early, because they're finding it hard to control my blood pressure with medication, in 3 weeks I've gone from 200mg to 300mg, and today 400mg of labetalol. They've also given me an steroid injection to help the baby's lungs in case she has to be born early.
The worst part of being in hospital is leaving my little munchkin! He stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's house the first time I had to stay in, and tonight he's at Auntie Nicola's house because my Mam and Dad are still in Norway.
I'm 35 weeks tomorrow, and today at my scan Erika is weighing/measuring at 5lb which is quite a decent weight for how far along I am, but she'll be nowhere as big as her brother was! Also I found out she's 100% a girl, so I can stop worrying about the hot pink and Hello Kitty overload! I'm gonna get some early baby clothing because I don't think the stuff I've bought is going to fit, but I found the cutest stuff in Sainsburys so that's okay with me!
I miss Oskar so much and probably won't see him until tomorrow tea time, but that will make it even more lovely when I do! Personally I don't know now parents can cope palming their children off on friends/family members every weekend, I much prefer his company than anyone's!
My next post will probably be when baby is born as I have a feeling it isn't going to be a very long time, but we'll see!

If only...

Dodie-less

Since taking Oskar's dodies off him four days ago, he's only asked for it once! I'm shocked! Turns out he was more ready than I was. I'm so proud of him.

Loving Two

This wasn't written by me, but was posted on Instagram and I thought it was quite fitting. It made me cry as I'm an emotional wreck at the moment.


Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you – as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you – both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.


-Author Unknown

So funny.

I've just finished cleaning my teeth and getting ready for bed and I walked into my bedroom, and found Oskar with dodie in mouth, all tucked up with my iPad, he was on YouTube watching Chuggington, in Japanese. Haha! He was so engrossed in it he didn't even notice me enter the room and take his photo. He's now lying next to me watching Pocoyo in Italian, he's hilarious.

Growing a human is stressful!

Today was my 32 week scan! The sole purpose of the scan was to check to see whether the placenta had moved away from my cervix but I came away with more issues than I'd bargained for. I was more keen to know whether baby had grown a winky or not, because, I'd had the same placenta issue with Oskar so I was confident that it would have moved - and it has! So I'm all set for a normal birth - fingers crossed!
Another thing which was crossed was baby's legs, so I still have a teeny tiny bit of me thinking she could be a he, even though I've seen with my own eyes on the last scan that she has a foo-foo, I think it's just my pregnant brain getting carried away!
Anyway, that should be the least of my worries, as firstly, they told me I don't have enough amniotic fluid around the baby which is probably why it's painful when she kicks me. They checked that baby was (practice) breathing properly; which she was, and checked that her stomach, bladder and kidneys were all passing fluid, which they all were. So they're happy that the baby is doing well in there. They want to keep an eye on things, so I have another scan in 4 weeks when I'll be 36 weeks. Hopefully by then the amniotic fluid will have increased, otherwise I'll probably have to have her early.
Secondly, I have high blood pressure, which I think is one of my biggest worries. The past few times it's been taken it has been 95/50, 100/52 and 101/51. Now it has shot up to 140/82. They said I have to go get my blood pressure checked every week to keep a close eye on it.
Other than that baby seems to be doing fine, she looks just like Oskar, and from her measurements they worked out she's weighing around 3lb 12oz at the moment. On the plus side I get to see her again in 4 weeks time!

My little model.

I love that he's started to pose for photos! These are a couple from today..

Just saying..

Little Man

One of Oskar's most favourite things to do is to go out with Grandma, Grandpa and Mammy for a babyccino. He's such a little gentleman.

Poo

Oskar has now been fully potty trained for about a week! Which means I have 10 nappy-free weeks until Erika arrives! (Yay!) He still wears a pull-up on a night - just in case, but he wakes up dry and as soon as he wakes up he tells me 'have a wee wee' so we get up and have a wee on the potty! Grandma has got him using the big toilet at her house which is great because when we go out he can just use the public toilets, he's getting so much better at it and has even learned to push his own winky down so he doesn't have a fountain on the floor!

Tonight has been the ultimate test for him, and for me as he's had diarrhoea so has needed to go a lot. I had to tell him not to use the potty anymore because I was tired of cleaning it every 5 minutes (believe me it's not easy when the contents aren't solid!) so I've told him to tell me when he needs to poo and we'll go on the big toilet! He's done great and had no accidents (yet) although he's been on the toilet about 8 times having what he calls a 'wee poo'.

We're now lying in bed watching 'Mungebob' and I've said he can stay in our bed in case he needs to wake me up so he can use the toilet. Now that he's potty trained he gets very upset and worried if he does something in his pants or pull-up, so I know he'd be really upset if he pooed himself in the night!

He's going to be mortified reading this when he's older! Haha!

30 Weeks!

It goes so quick second time around! Which is great, but a little sad as its probably the last time I do this!

Bump

13-28 weeks pregnant. She's growing!

Proud Mama

Tonight I showed Oskar how to draw a smiley face and he copied it perfectly! (Yellow face)
He's been practicing all night, Shaun told him to draw some arms and legs and hair and he did (Green man)
He then drew a blue tree.
I'm so surprised and proud! He's obviously arty like his mama!

Poem

Not sure if its my preggo hormones but this made me cry! It's so true, Oskar could have written it!

Happy New Year

Today we had a walk along the beach to dust away the Christmas cobwebs.